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stacy in wonderland

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February 21st, 2005

09:23 pm:

E is for Energetic
R is for Radiant
I is for Important
C is for Cynical

09:21 pm:

S is for Skillful
T is for Trendy
A is for Alert
C is for Colorful
Y is for Young

09:06 pm: missing him
eric was playin this song on saturday when i came home and i ended up braking down in tears only because i was scared of losing him all together so like this song reminds me of him and how much everything means to me

Blue like water
Blue like heaven is all of the time
I'm all right
I'm just gagging on all the all right
I'm so happy
So happy
I'm in heaven
Yeah heaven
Oh the season's come for opium
I'm so happy
I'm in heaven
Yeah heaven
Oh the seizures come from opium-opium marcy playground

Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: marcy playground-opium

November 7th, 2004

05:09 pm: a day off
sorwey about not being on the net and talking to those who are so beautiful hehehehhe...
anyways i got the day off :)i don't have work and for those that don't know where i happen to work at well its spencer.i've been there for 2 and a half weeks and yesterday was fucking werid i got to go see metallic, this is what happened a wonmen came in when i was talking to the other workers which was jared and matt and this wonmen said do u want to come to a free show tonight and they said okay sure what show she said metallica and they said okay and she was like well like see i just didn't want to give them to anyone i wanted to make sure that the person will go so after she left they were talking and then matt said to me do u want to go i said yeah and so he gave me the two tickets and i thought to myself i need one other person who could i take and so i told matt that i would be back in a few mins and i went and got eric and asked him and he said sure okay so we both got off from work early and jared told the head manager that would it be okay if stacy left early cas she was sic and she said okay so it was really kool that they lied for me and let me have the tickets but the show was really good it was so i was happy grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........i have o s tudy for a test grrrrrr........................................well got to go

Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: depeche mode~never let me down again

October 14th, 2004

12:16 pm: really i don't know what i'm talking about anymore at all i just feel like i want to die and how much i want to die i just don't know anymore with what to do maybe one day i will know myself and know who i am but until then i don't know nothing............but right now its hard tryin to find another number one favorite band only becas i use to love korn so much i loved them for 8 years i mean they will still have my heart, but like right now at this point i love depeche mode and like glassjaw i'm sorwey i don't have a mother fucking clue what i am saying right now

Current Mood: gloomygloomy
Current Music: depeche mode~barrel of a gun

October 11th, 2004

02:33 pm: nothing
i was getting dressed and everything and had just thought to myself that me and eric should just live together as friends becas i'm so afraid that we might end up hateing each other like i never want to go out with anyone else besides him i guess the reason i say that is becas i love him so much and i really don't like anyone else except for him which to some people is a shock cas i always try going out with another person after another and i guess i don't want things to get messed up i want to end up getting back together with him just not this second anyways i met like o kool people at the mall yesterday i got all these numbers and all that stuff i was hanging with erics friends after i was done hateing myself the other night also i got eric this marilyn manson thing from hot topic its like a racord or something its kool and he really liked it anyways i got to go so peace out

Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: smashing pumpkins ~ ava adore

October 8th, 2004

09:20 pm: just sadness
i'm so sad all i feel is the pain of feeling like an outkast again i'm ready to cry i feel like just takeing the razor to the skin and leaving everything behind i feel like i've lost myself i have no friends left and as i write this my eyes begin to tear one tear falls after the next i hear the sounds of the other people getting fucked up is this what my life has become one big drug everyone is sitting in the livingroom like its a drug house or something i feel like just falling to my feet into a big darkness maybe i need help or maybe i just need to leave the world i don't know if i have anything else eric says becas i'm not talking to these kids that i'm being a snob but what is a snob maybe i am maybe the world will lose me as when i slowly lose myself to the world i now just begin to sit in sadness i don't know what to say to make eric understand but at the same time do i even understand myself do i know what the pain really is maybe its a joke a big joke at least i will always now that the people who have always talked to me and liked me will be there so until i wake up i will know nothing not even myself so until then good bye and i love u guys

Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: nothing

October 5th, 2004

07:29 pm: nothing nothing
i'm in florida this is day two and my new screen name is number ic sic anyways this is day two and i'm so shakie about everything i mean i feel like every to seconds i'm going to be hated or something or even kicked the fuck out its kinda like real worlds or something i feel so sic i am so nervous about everything i mean eric wants me to meet some people but i'm not ready for it i think after i settle down and feel like this is more then just some dream then okay i'll be fine i mean he can do whatever but then again i'm starting to have all these thoughts build up in side of my head like what if becas i came here everything going to change i have no clue i feel like shit and i don't know what to do i'm just gonna go for a walk then probly into the unknown...well if i still got friends out there e-mail me or something well peace out lil ones

Current Mood: nervousbut sad at the same time
Current Music: nothing

September 26th, 2004

01:24 pm: drrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............
i have two more days left of skool so i am really happy about that my life is so boring i really don't have that much to say right now except that i have only 6 more days left but i've been really depressed lately like i keep thinking about death and yesterday i allmost was to the point of just killing myself hopefully things will get better but this week i'm going shopping and all that good stuff and tuesday is my last day and like i'm all most done with my skool project its due like on my last day of skool i'm like reading this book called go ask alice its pretty good and i have to go get some new makeup this week and some other things anyways i'm thinking about going to another concert cas i really want to go see hatebreed i just want to go see some hard good ass band so i can just throw myself in to other people and hopefully just die just get ripped to peice's last night i'm not sure if i got into a fight with eric or what becas i was telling him about the tatu's and everything i wanted to get done and he was just like ewwwwwwww..... and he said well i couldn't be with someone who wanted to get all that done cas thats just sic it just really pissed me off cas i like being around people who are going to except me for who i am and my sic lil ideals that i get so like i told him that fine i'll just ask u what i can and cannot get becas me and him are surposed to have a family together or something and he was like giving me that thing well what would our kids say so i hate it so fucking much maybe one day he can marry this perfect grl and i'll marry this perfect guy like i love him to death and all but right now i just feel like i need to be left alone i think that i should just go before i unleash any more of my feelings

Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: deftones~change

September 24th, 2004

08:15 pm: something something
i'm not sure about what to talk about so i'll just say what ever comes to mind i guess well this tuesday is my last day at this skool i'm so happy:) anyways i'm so i'm bored also i'm not going to this court case which is about my so called dad i hate not being on the net and talking to my beautiful people i hate spies grrrrrrrrrrr......... anyways i've been so fucking tired i just feel like sleeping non stop i was invited to a party but i passed that up becas i don't trust my self at parties without eric cas when i drink i just don't know my limit so i would never hurt him in any way so whatever anyways i'm probly just gonna go i don't have anything to talk about..........so peace out

Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
Current Music: john lennon~ imagine

September 21st, 2004

07:28 pm: something else
yeah i almost forgot to say that i saw the butterfly effect it was such a great ass movie thankxx ashley for telling me to see it cas u were so fucking right about it

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: the pet shop boys~ its a sin
07:04 pm: bluh bluh bluh
i am kinda bored but yet jumping up and down in side with joy only cas i'm leaving in 11 days cas i'm leaving i can't wait and i know all i talk about is florida it's only cas i'm so happy to be leaving and to be staying with the person i love......... anyways i've been doing so good in skool knowing that i am such a smart ass torwards the teachers becas they think that they are some kind of gods it makes me so sick to my stomache i hate them but i'm doing very well with the skool subjects i guess i am smart cas i'm passing everything which is good and i hope that maybe i can get into a good skool after this year i miss talking to all my friends on the net but i can't do anything about that only becas some ass was spying on me which suckxxx so i'm going to change my screen name when i move so soon i will be talking to everyone and i'll put in this live journal whats my new screen name is when i get it but til then i miss u guys and i will let people know what my screen name is becas i did the stupid thing last time and didn't tell anyone til months later so i won't be like this deranged bitch and not tell anyone........well got to go peace out

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: wham!~last christmas

September 18th, 2004

01:50 pm: something of nothing
life is so boring but yet at the same time its not i'm changing my screen name soon becas of somethings that were happening anyways i have 14 days left til i move to fl....:) i can't wait anyways fot the past couple of days i've been down real down only becas alot has been going on well i really don't have much to say so i'm probly gonna go becas my life is just so fucking boring........well got to go bye bye

Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: alice in wonderland

September 14th, 2004

09:03 pm: bluh bluh can't hear u
no body listen's so whatever its cas i'm dumb and just bluh.........

Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: depeche mode~never let me down again
08:25 pm: u are only 18 twice never once
i have now 18 days left til i am out out out of this place i don't have to much to say except in 18 days i am moving down to fl...:) i can't wait the days seem to go pretty fast in a way like every day seems to speed fast but then u look at the last day u have left and u are like shit so many days but then before u know it u have nothing to worry about like am i going to fuck up between now and then or what is going to happen between then i was listening to like group after group today i almost want to cry at times becas my love is so far away its such an unhappy feeling when all u ever wanted is to be in that person's arms i don't know if anyone out there would agree with me or just turn away and be like whatever at least i'm trying to make something out of nothing with this world see where i live at i would atleast think that no one would listen to any good music cas its very very hicky and what i mean by that is that i'm in the middle of no where but i was way wrong i saw for the past two weeks kids coming out with slipknot,manson,nin,tool,mudvayne,kiss,icp,mushroomhead, and etc...tee's it was really weird but anyways i don't know what else to talk about except that i'm getting over my sickness so i'm happy also i started packing again and today i got smart with my teacher becas he's such a rude fucker that i can't stand and this grl amanda that is in my class is all ways up my ass and she thinks that we are like best friends but i never said that i was so i can't understand that and i don't know why i'm sleeping over her house i mean away from all my stuff she doesn't even have long distance so i can't be making any calls which is gonna suck so i have like two days to think about it if i want to well got to go bye bye

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: depeche mode~dream on

September 12th, 2004

07:23 pm: drrrrrrrrrrrr
i dyed my hair last night its blonde and red........ i'm still so sic and tomarrow is skool i need to get ready for skool tomarrow this is going to sound grly and all but i have to re do my nails tonight they say eric on them it took forever to do but its worth it.............. in 20 days i will be living with eric<3 i'm really happy i can't wait i really can't like on friday i had this really big uncontrol able happiness like i was going to jump out of my skin of just thinking about leaving and living with him i was watching this show like last night and manson was on and his new album comes out the 28th i can't wait my mind is kinda like at a blank right now it suckx well i'm probly gonna go and all cas i can't really remember anything that i really want to talk about which suckxx so peace out

Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
Current Music: the pet shop boys ~ west side boys
07:13 pm: eric and stacy's song of love
i want to hold ur hand is me and eric's love song.....
eric i love u so so so so so so so much
and i'm sorwey about the lil mood swing fights that we get into from time and time again but i can't believe that soon we will be living together..............i can't wait but this is me and eric's song......

Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something,
I think you’ll understand.
When I’ll say that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.

Oh please, say to me
You’ll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You’ll let me hold your hand.
Now let me hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside.
It’s such a feeling that my love
I can’t hide, I can’t hide, I can’t hide.

Yeah, you’ve got that something,
I think you’ll understand.
When I’ll say that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside.
It’s such a feeling that my love
I can’t hide, I can’t hide, I can’t hide.

Yeh, you’ve got that something,
I think you’ll understand.
When I’ll feel that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.

Current Mood: gratefuli'm so grateful to have eric
Current Music: depeche mode~ barrel of a gun
03:37 pm: something..........something....................something..............
i just got this ideal a like yesterday and i was thinking about becomeing a suicide grl why i have no clue but i think it would be pretty kool and all anyways for some people who don;'t know what that is its a body tatu porn site i hope that explains what it is but i'm not to good at explaining what stuff is anyways life is boring so i redid my journal with the colors and the icon thingy grrrrr... i have skool tomarrow grrrrrr... i hate this skool so much it's so boring the teachers are so fucking rude to me and we had to talk about the whole 911 thing which i don't even want to get into but anyways i've been sic for the past 3 days damn sicness shit i think that at this point i might be the most boring person to live on this planet well i got to go so peace out everyone ....................

Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: people

September 6th, 2004

08:49 pm:
The Sleepless Under Stoplights Tour 2004

06:55 pm: nothing
i'm like so fuckin bored i have like nothing to do and i go back to skool tomarrow i really hate this skool so much but i only have two and a half weeks left then i am done hehehe yes but i miss bensalem it was really fun living in bensalem but i guess i can only go forward i mean i get to go live with eric fun fun in the sun but i will try and keep in tact with people from bensalem imean i all ready moved and still am i wish more but what can i do errrrrrrrrrrrrr
well got to go bye bye

Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: mushroomhead~almost gone
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